Wasting Chances
by Mona Love
Summary: Intimate encounters keep popping up for Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Will they ever take advantage of them, or continue to waste their chances?
1. Chapter 1

This is a first! I'm not quite sure what I've done here, but hey, I gave it a shot. Can't blame a girl for having a little fun! Hope it's not total rubbish. Let me know, but try not to make me cry. Haha :)

He hears the crash a moment before he feels the pain. Silver tray on the floor, "Bloody hell" escaping his lips. Something warm trickles down into his eye, then cheek. His crisp white shirt and waistcoat start to stain red. He grabs a handkerchief off his desk and reaches up to press it against the wound. Embarrassment rushes over him. This should not be happening to the butler of Downton abbey!

He crosses the hall to Mrs. Hughes' sitting room knocking once before entering, then shutting the door behind him quickly. Without looking up she knows its him. "Can I help you, Mr. Carson?" She glances up smiling before he has the chance to answer.

"Oh my" she gasps jumping from her seat and rushing over to him. "What have you done?" He tries to maintain his dignity while explaining the incident to her. She pulls down her medical box and starts to go through it, picking out bandages, a salve, some alcohol. She is always so good to him, good to everyone really. Even Thomas and O'Brien, who in his distinguished opinion deserve none of her graciousness. He can't imagine how this place would ever manage without her, how he would ever manage without her. He shakes the thought from is mind, yet it creeps up frequently now. Ever since the cancer scare he can't stay away from these thoughts. He would not want to be here without her, would not want to be anywhere without her. She is as much of him as he is himself.

There's never been the need for them to be this close to each other. He's always kept his distance, knowing it would be too much. Make him feel, that's something he tried not to do. Feel. Feel anything more for her than the friendship she offered. She wiped at the cut with an alcohol soaked cloth. Then reached up, holding his face between her hands to blow on the gash crossing his forehead. The alcohol stung, yet he felt nothing but heat, flames rising through his body. Her breasts rising and falling so close to his face. The urge to just lean forward and bury his face into them was almost overwhelming. He tried to keep his urges, feelings, thoughts at bay. He inhaled her scent. Her soap, sweat, something so unique to her only, it fills his senses. He sighs, oh lord he sighed. What must she think? Does she know the effect she has on him? Probably not, he assumes. She is too good, honest, wholesome. There are times when she looks at him he thinks she can see right through him. Can tell every thought running through his mind. He hopes this is not one of those instances. He prays she never leaves the position they are in now, to be able to look into his eyes. He's so terrified. He knows she will be able to see it, the longing, the need, his desire. She pulls back still holding his face between her tiny soft palms. She opens her mouth to say something to him, but nothing comes out. Her beautiful lips stay parted slightly. So soft, pink and full. She needs nothing to decorate them. Her teeth bite into her bottom lip, something she always does when her emotions run high. He knows this about her. He knows everything about her, yet he knows so little really. They stare at each other for what seems a lifetime. He wants nothing more than to lean in and brush his lips to hers. To slowly run his tongue along the crease tasting her, parting her slowly, offering her all of him. His mind, body, soul, his life (or what he has left of it anyway, he thinks).

She inhales sharply, pulling her hands from his face and tilts her head away. "Well now, Mr. Carson, there you are. All set." She busies herself putting away the medical items she used. His heart drops, it's over, his chance wasted. He scolds them, his footmen, for wasting chances. Silly, foolish, old hypocrite he thinks of himself. He leans back watching his life slip away once again. His chance wasted.

Mrs. Hughes settles herself onto her chair at the dining table. Still thinking about her moment with "Charles" earlier. In her mind, he will always be Charles. Bates sits across from her, glancing up to give her one of his most charming smiles. She loves him. Of course not the way she loves Charles, but the way you would love the man married to your daughter. She thinks of Anna as hers. Has watched the darling girl grow and blossom into the smart, caring woman she is today. "I saw Mr. Carson earlier. Thank goodness you were there to help him. That was quite the gash" he offers.

"Oh, he's never needed me. I'm sure he'd be the first person to tell you that." She sounded bitter, she knows, but cannot help it. She is bitter, rejected again. It is so easy for him to walk away she thinks, he has no more feelings for me than any other servant working here. She starts to get up. Trying to hide her emotions. She's good at it, has been doing it for over twenty long years now.

He stands outside the doorway. Hears every word spoken between the two. It knocks the wind out of him, like a punch to the gut. As she exits the room he grasps her at the elbow.

"Mrs. Hughes, may I have a moment?"

She knows he's heard her. She's glad! Hopes he feels something behind that stone, that granite. She wants him to hurt. To feel anything- guilt, fear, LOVE!

"I'm very busy at the moment" she lies.

He looks dejected, sad. "Please, Mrs. Hughes?"

"Very well" she huffs!

He leads her to his pantry, opening the door for her to enter. Following her he closes the door behind them and takes a deep breath...


	2. Another Chance

He leads her to his pantry, opening the door for her to enter. Following her he closes the door behind them and takes a deep breath...

Before he can open his mouth to speak Elsie snaps,"well now what do you need that is so important it couldn't wait? ". Her anger always brings out her Scottish brogue and he feels it like a caress across his skin. Makes him shiver from the inside out.

"You, only you" he thinks to himself, but never says the words. Keeps them locked up tight in that vault. The secret place he hides all improper thoughts of his beautiful housekeeper. She's in a mood alright! Staring at her now he thinks how very enticing she is when she's angry. The way her eyes seem to burn, her nostrils flaring, repressing her rage. He would like to grab her around the waist and push her bottom up onto his desk, hike that pretty dress up along those strong lean legs, pull the neckline of her dress slowly off her silky white shoulders and down over her large firm breasts, her pink ..Stop! He tells himself and doesn't understand why he continues to torture his mind with these thoughts. It's bad enough she's the only thing that seems to be on his mind when he ends his day in his small lonely room. Oh how he dreams of her. Every situation, position, taste, touch, words she would say...

"Uh hmmm," he clears his throat. "Mrs. Hughes I had the misfortune of overhearing your conversation with Mr. Bates. I truly hope that you do not think your position here at Downton is not valued. You are held in very high regard by all."

The fire still burning in her eyes, "I don't believe I said anything about the bloody house, Mr. Carson! I said you! You do not need me!"

He's shocked at the intimacy this could imply. Why did he pull her in here, he wonders. But he knows, knows that he couldn't make it through his day thinking she might be upset, or worse hurt...by him. His face reddens and he utters the only safe thing he can think. "Are you quite all right today Mrs. Hughes? Maybe you should take the afternoon off for a rest."

"I might just do that" she nearly yells turning on her heal and throwing the door open before stomping out.

He hears the slamming of her sitting room door. Why? Why couldn't he have just told her he needed her. Let her know how he valued her. How he knew he could never do his job without her. Never live his life without her...That is exactly why. He knows once he opens that vault and let's out a little it will pour out like the floodgates have been lifted. So he keeps the wall up. Always.

She throws the door shut behind her. It closes with a bang shaking the pictures on her wall. Pictures from a life she can hardly recall anymore. The only life she seems to know is the one with him. This life has become harder to live lately. To be with the man she loves but not able to really be with him. How she longs to hold him in her arms. To reach up around those broad strong shoulders and pull his lips down onto her own. She dreams of slowly undressing him, ridding him of his stiff white shirts and waistcoats, reaching down and...She tries to shrug these thoughts from her mind. There was no sense in torturing herself. He was so cold to her. "Your position. The house. " All she wanted was for him to say "I need you", but of course he doesn't. She should know by now, but still after all these years every shrug, every brush-off, every reprimand, every inability to share his thoughts is like a dagger straight to her heart. Stupid, insufferable, stubborn, pigheaded man. The walls start to build up higher, sheltering a heart so scorned and burned. Fraying at the edges. She has an overwhelming feeling of being trapped. Wanting to break free from her cage she exits her room and heads out of the house sobs escaping her. She didn't grab her coat or hat, she doesn't care, wants to feel the hot summer sun burning her cheeks. Wants to feel...

He's hears her sitting room door now, then the familiar sound of the back door opening and closing. What is unfamiliar is the sound of hear crying. He swears he heard a muffled sob before hearing the door shut. His heart sinks into his stomach, he falls back into his chair and leans his face into his hands. He wants to go to her, to comfort her and show her all the love he has for her. He knows where she is going. The lake. She always goes to the lake when she's feeling off. She loves the water, reminds her of home she once said. He remembers a time in their youth, well they weren't that young really. She was the new head housemaid Elsie. He was walking the grounds alone on his afternoon off and spotted her swimming. Her long auburn curls, turned dark with wetness hung over her shoulders. She was wearing only a thin piece of fabric, something women wear under their corsets he knew. He had lived a life once. It was wet, transparent, clung to every curve of her body. She was beautiful, goddess-like. He knew from that moment he would never see a more perfect creature in his whole life- he hasn't. It has always been her, she has always been his everything. He stood up abruptly knocking his chair backwards, and headed out the back door towards the lake...


	3. The Lake

Charles quickly made his way across the grounds, through the gardens and out towards the lake. He sees her standing at the end of the dock, her head hung down. From behind he can tell her hands are moving hurriedly down her chest. No, she can't be! Scandalous, wanton, shocking! She is no longer a young foolish maid, yet he can't tear his eyes away as her dress drops to the aged wood of the old dock. Her fingers dive into her hair pulling pins left and right. The dark curls cascade down her back over her white corset. She unties, then wiggles her corset down her body. He can't believe what he's seeing. What if someone came by. No one will. The lake is set back near half a mile from the house, long past the gardens. She knows this, she would never be careless with her position. Knows that no one comes here, no one but them.

Elsie remembers her first time swimming here. It was hot day, and she was feeling a bit out of place being newer to Downton. She was feeling off, wanted to escape and pretend she was the lass she used to be. Stripping down to her shift, she dove into the lake letting the coolness of the water calm her troubled spirit. Almost immediately she knew he was there, watching her while relaxing against a tree. It was very bold and not at all in character for the young man she had gotten to know. She wished he would have came in and joined her, joined her in every sense of the word. She desired him desperately then. More physical than the emotional attachment she has now. She did put on quite the show for him. Slowly, seductively walking out of the lake, her shift transparent and hanging desperately low across her breasts. She tilted her head back wringing the water from her long auburn tresses. It slowly caressing down her back. Then, though she didn't know how she found the courage. She turned lifting her head and gazed right into his eyes. He coughed nervously, looked away and headed back to the house. This moment between them never spoken of. Forgiven, but never forgotten...

She doesn't have any right to feel this way. To be so angry with him. She has no hold on Charles, even if she considers him hers. It really is not his fault he doesn't return her strong affections. She thinks he did once. Many long years ago. She was the head housemaid Elsie then, he the young lordships valet. Maybe it was just a fleeting flirtation between them. She was beautiful then, he was beautiful... they were both quite good looking she thinks. Him with his broad shoulders, tall firm body, head of dark curly hair. She a bright lass, dark red curls escaping her loose up-do, large full breasts set up higher than they do know, tight bottom and stomach. Her accent was a delight to him then, she knew it. The way he reacted to her when she would let go in her native tongue. A smile she sees rarely now crossing that handsome stoic face. It does not matter that they have aged, she has become softer, lined, not quite as pretty as she once was, but still strikingly beautiful. Him full around the middle, black curls turned sleek grey, still regally handsome. Their friendship had developed quickly. He wasn't always so hard and reserved. He had quite a sense of humor, she sees flashes of it still when they are alone in the evening after he's had a couple glasses of the leftover wine from dinner. But all this lovely closeness of true friendship stopped when the family granted him the position of butler. She knew it would, it wasn't overnight but gradual slight changes that turned them into this... Two old people merely existing. Living lives that are not really their own. She has grown tired. Tired of this life, this path she has chosen for herself. But it wasn't a choice really. It was out of need that she stayed. Need to be with him, near him, if only as friends (or whatever they are, are they friends?) He really is the closest person to her and yet they have this wall up between them. Sure there are cracks, crumbles that happen so often (her cancer scare, lady Sybil's death, her proposal from Joe, the birth of the young heir..the death of the young heir). Times when they let themselves feel, a touch to the arm, a holding of hands. Those moments keep her here, fill her with something. Give her hope that he sees her as she does him. But it always ends quickly, he turns back into "the butler". Pushes her away yet again...

She snaps herself out of her sad trip down memory lane. Lowering herself to sit at the end of the dock, her small feet dangling into the cool water. Yes, this is just what she needs. She pushes herself off the edge and submerges into the dark water, baptizing her soul of the emotionally draining thoughts of him...

He can't take his eyes off her as he watches her slip into the water. He starts to panic inside..what will I say, what will I do, will she scold me for approaching her in this state, will I be able to control myself? He pushes himself to keep walking. He will not waste this chance! He is almost at the dock now, can see her gliding across the lake stroking the water. Her long hair trailing behind her. He loves her hair. Wants to bury his face in it, grab handfuls and pull gently while he's nibbling on her neck and pumping into her soft, wet... Enough! He has to keep a clear mind, figure out what to say. He's on the dock now. She still does not see him, the splashes from her swimming a distraction. He starts to pull off his jacket, waistcoat, shirt, shoes,(my God what am I doing he thinks),pants. He jumps off and into the lake clad only in his undershorts. The cool water calms his nerves, but not for long..  
"Mr. Carson!" Elsie cries!


	4. Their Last Chance

She hears a splash and whips around. "Mr. Carson!"

What? Why? How is this happening? He's here now, in the water with her. Nearly naked! Just when she was ready to make the step to sever them, was determined to push him even further away from her heart. Close herself shut to his words, smile, soulful blue eyes. She had nearly convinced herself to even slowly stop their evenings together sharing glasses of wine and pleasant restrained conversation.

It was all so clear to him now as he stood there, chest deep in water staring at her. Looking into her dark eyes that held so much behind them. He knew exactly what he wanted and was willing to give up anything for it. Was willing to give up everything just to have her. The years drift past through their minds as they gaze longingly into each others eyes, neither one able to speak, unsure what to say or do. "Give me a sign Els," he silently commands "let me know."

Frozen, she holds her breath. Time is standing still as he stares into her. Still no words spoken. She's suddenly brave. All of her doubts suddenly slipping away with the breeze across the water. She glides closer to him as he stands there, water dripping down his face, that sexy curl damp on his forehead. His solid chest covered with a silver dusting of hair, tiny pink pebbles hard from the cool water. How she would like to taste that area, run her tongue across his nipples. Oh she will, she knows this now. Nothing is going to hold her back from getting exactly what she wants. She wants Charles! She knows they have had limitations. Knows that is what kept them strong all these years. Their hearts sitting idle collecting dust. But it all has led them here to this. This very moment in time where they both knew without a shadow of doubt that they had to claim this. Claim the love that had always been there for the taking. It was not broken now, not twisted by their dark days of loneliness and longing. It was young again, full of hope and passion.

"Charles," she sighed, tears running down her already wet face.

With one long stride he surrounds her in his embrace, pressing her as tight against him as possible attempting to convey his overwhelming love for her. She feels so small and delicate in his arms. Their hands slide up at the same time, each gently holding the others face. Still unable to break eye contact, both afraid of losing this chance. She brushes her thumb across his thick, sexy eyebrows. How she's longed to touch them. His lips touch hers tenderly and move to kiss the tears coming down her face.

He breaks their silence. "I need you Elsie, I've always needed you," his confession and the use of her name fills her heart and makes her dizzy with passion.

Her hands slide into his hair and pull him down to her, their lips meeting, parting, tongues dancing in a heated gentle match. His own hands began to roam down her back, caressing, kneading, loving every inch of her body he can reach.

"I love you" he nearly sobs. He's never been so full of emotion in his whole life. He knows he will never let anything or anyone take this away from him now.

All of her demons leave her as she hears those three words cross his lips. The lips that are nipping and sucking their way down her neck. His hands are under the water sliding her shift slowly up and over her naked bottom squeezing gently as they glide over her beautiful curves. He pulls away for a moment to look at her for permission. Her eyes telling him "yes love, this is what I want, what I've always wanted" she lifts her arms into the air and he pulls the shift up and over her head exposing her to him. He has dreamed of the day he could see her like this, her full breasts naked and exposed. Has always longed to feel the weight of them in his hands. Pinch their soft pink tips between his fingers. Pull them into his mouth and suckle them , then circle them slowly with his tongue. He pulls her to him, kissing her hard on the mouth, neck, chest, inching closer to his goal. He gently holds them in his hands, his mouth capturing them, kissing the silken white globes, the hard pink centers.

She wants to say it. She wants to bare her soul completely to him. Tell him he that though he may not have had her body until now, he has always had her heart. Her delicate hands play in the curls at his chest, brushing over his taut sensitive nipples. Once her shift is off and she is fully bared to him one hand goes back into his hair as he trails down to lavish all his attentions to her breasts. Her other hand slowly trailing down his chest, stomach, then brushes across the hard bulge in his shorts. She pulls at the ties and they come undone, she slides them down, his huge hard erection springing forward. She touches it gently and he moans into her breast. Her hands encircle the shaft, holding it tightly and squeezing it down the length. She must admit she's a bit frightened by the size, but she knew it would be like this. Large and strong, just like him. He jerks into her hand. Then grabs her waist and pushes her back slightly. She knows she has to slow down, doesn't want him to finish before they begin. He pulls her towards him as he walks back to the dock his hands still on her waist, their eyes still locked. He lifts her naked body out and settles her bottom on the edge spreading her thighs wide apart. She gives him a look questioning his intentions, but knows she would do anything, be anything, to make this never end. His hands still on her waist he guides her gently back to rest up on her elbows, then dips his head to her center and places a kiss on her curl covered mound. His kisses slowly trail down, deepening. His tongue joining in to lick roughly at her swollen nub. He adds his fingers, sliding one into her slowly, then a second. Rubbing inside with his fingers, flicking her swollen clit with his tongue. She is panting now, gasps escaping, her teeth setting into her bottom lip to keep her from screaming outright.

"Mr. Car..Charles, oh Charles, oh, oh, yes" she can't control her words, her thoughts. She can just feel. Her whole body shudders and convulses as an explosion of pleasure shoots through every part of her. She leans forward and collapses onto him falling back into the water. Her center on fire and throbbing he catches her and pulls her legs around him encircling his waist. She feels him still hard and huge throbbing against her slick wet slit.

Her taste still on his lips he holds her to him and kisses her on the mouth. This naughty thought of her tasting herself on him makes his cock twitch and jump. She is ready now, her legs holding tight around his waist, her swollen pink folds pulsating against him. He lifts her slowly with one hand at her waist and guides himself into her with the other. The whole time his eyes locked on hers. Silently letting her know that she is his now. He is taking her forever. Giving her all his love. Freeing them from the lies they have been living among. He slowly fills her as she gasps. Her hands around his neck she says the words he's been dying to hear for so many long years...

"I love you Charles."

Her love lights a fire of lust within him that burns hot. He pushes into her slowly again and again, trying his hardest to hold back, to make this last for her. He wants to make her come again. His pace picks up and he becomes frenzied when she cries out to him begging "More, yes, like that, oh Charles, my God, yes, oh I love you, oh, oh, oh!" He feels her tighten around him over and over and he finally lets go, his whole body shuddering with pleasure. Coming harder than he ever had in his long life. His throbbing orgasm lasting for longer than he ever knew possible.

They fall heavy into each others arms. Their flesh finally tamed. Their souls wiped clean of the years of denial. They are no longer holding it in. They have finally led each other out of the dark shadows of loneliness. They are one now, complete and whole. Every part of his soul intertwined with hers forever... :)


	5. Chapter 5

They stay like this, the minutes passing. Waist deep in water they cling to this perfect moment, love pulsing through them. Elsie sobbed quietly against Charles' shoulder, their naked bodies pressed tightly together. Her face buried in his neck, his cheek resting against her soft damp hair that smelled of lemons. She gently dug into the muscles of his back, while his hands caressed up and down her soft flesh. Charles hoped her tears were like his, ones of joy, relief, love. "Are you alright, my love?" His voice so smooth and gentle against her ear.

She choked on her sob hearing him call her "my love". Her emotions and fears running wild through her mind. Yes, this had finally happened. What would he think if her now? What would happen to them? Would they continue this? Would they remain at Downton? What if someone found out? These and countless other questions paraded through her mind. She shook her head trying to clear it of these doubts, knowing they did not matter. Nothing mattered anymore except the man she was holding in her arms. Charles took this shaking of her head as an answer to his question. A resounding "No."

His heart dropped, a feeling of dread rushing over his body. She did not want this!? She is regretting this, is clinging to him so that she does not have to see his face and realize the awful truth that it had happened. What had he done to her? The only women he had ever loved ruined by his perversion, his inability to control his desires. But it was not wrong. In his heart he knew that everything between them was right, sacred, beautiful. Could she not see that? His heart started to shatter into pieces as he pulled away from her. "Els.. Mrs. Hughes... I'm so sorry. I, I didn't..I thought..I " he stammers.

She looks into his eyes, his words as sharp as a knife cutting her heart from her chest. He's pulling away again, she thinks, and it is killing her. Her arms cross over her breasts trying to conceal her nudity while shielding her heart. She lowers her head, eyes falling to the surface of the water. She is crushed now, empty and ashamed. She knows how she must seem to him. A ruined women without standards. She has not forgotten his views on this. The words he spoke to her after the Ethel debacle, that it is up to the women to say no. She thought they were more than just two people fulfilling needs. That they were destined, already one. She knows things are more black and white to him. There would be no grey area where their love could lie, their passionate lovemaking be justified. She is paralyzed and knows there will never be a way for her to recover from this. He will never see her in the same light again.."No Charles!" Her words come out before she knows she's speaking. "Please, please... don't apologize. Please don't ruin this. Let me keep this one moment," she begs softly, and with that she turns still crying and heads toward the sandy bank.

The panic of her leaving spurs him into action and he rushes forward grabbing her arm and turning her to face him. "Do you not love me, Elsie?" His deep voice rumbling in his throat.

Gaining courage she drops her arms down to her sides no longer concealing her chest. "Charles I love you with every part of my being. I have always loved you." She confesses looking up into his eyes.

He whispers in a soft deep voice, his eyes showing his hurt, "Then why are you leaving?"

"Do you, do you want me to stay?" She asks, anxious for his reply.

Reaching out, he holds her beautiful face gently between his large hands "Elsie, my darling Elsie. I have loved you since the day you walked through the doors of Downton. You are the reason I get up in the morning, the last thing on my mind as I close my eyes to sleep. I know that I am a stubborn man and have wasted more chances with you than I care to recall, but I must tell you now Elsie, all I have ever wanted in this life is you. Know that I will accept whatever you will offer me. If we can only continue on as we always have I will manage. Yet what I truly long for in my heart, is for this my darling. I want us to be together. Elsie... I want to marry you. Will you have me, my love? Will you be my wife?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Charles," she whispers still staring into his eyes, his palms gently cupping her face. Worries dance through her mind, but for once she is going to use her heart instead of her head. Her hands reach up, her palms pressing against his chest. She pulls at her bottom lip with her teeth, a smile forming, and answers him. "Oh Charles, yes. Yes Charles. I love you. I want to be your wife."

He pulls her to him, her arms sliding up and around his neck, her fingers weaving through his damp silver hair. He presses his smiling lips into hers. "I love you, my love."

"And I you," she says shivering against his body. "But if we don't get out of this lake soon we will catch our death, and then the whole thing will be off."

Charles' deep laugh rumbles in his chest as he sweeps Elsie up into his arms. He carries her to the dock and places her down gently, as though she were a fine piece of silver he had just polished. His eyes never leave her as he stands by the dock watching her gather their things. He's unable to look away from her body. The one he had only seen in his dreams before today. His eyes taking in everything they can. Her delicate feet, her muscled calf, her soft womanly thigh. The curl covered center that was his now. Now that he knew the feel and taste of it. Her soft smooth abdomen, the lovely round breasts that felt like heaven in his hands and mouth. The contrast of her long dark curls cascading down her pale white back. Looking into her eyes as she turns to him, he sees the same beautiful face he's been loving for over twenty years.

Even with the acts they had just engaged in fresh in her mind, Elsie was suddenly shy and began to blush while Charles watches her. She finds her chemise and quickly slips it over her head. His eyes finally leave her and she watches the muscles in his arms ripple as he pulls himself out of the lake to sit on the dock. She stares as the water flows from his tousled gray hair down his strong back and bottom. Her gaze wanders to his thick manhood and she feels the heat in her body rising again. She hands him his undershorts and he stands, putting them on. They both dress quietly and quickly, stealing glances as they go. She worries that once the suit is back on he will start regretting, turn back into Carson the Butler. That once her dress is fastened she will once again become the uptight, buttoned-up housekeeper Mrs. Hughes. She is attempting to pin her hair back up, when a fully clothed Charles leans in pressing kisses to her exposed neck whispering. "Don't worry. I love you. Everything will be fine." Kiss...

She knows it will be. That whatever happens, as long as they have each other, they will be fine. "I suppose we need a plan, Charles."

"I will ask his Lordship for a meeting this afternoon."

"And what if they turn us out?" She asks worriedly.

"I do not think they will. Yet if that is to be, I will take care of us Elsie. I have been saving for this day for many years."

"Saving for what exactly?" Her Scottish lilt slightly sarcastic.

He smiles at her tilted head and pursed lips. "For the day I knew you loved me as I love you. For the day I could ask you to be my wife. And now that the day is here, I am ready to face anything that comes our way."

She lays her cheek against his heart and he kisses the top of her head. His hands slide down grabbing her bottom and fistfuls of skirt. "I believe that our biggest problem is I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off you now that I know what's underneath all this."

She smacks his arm, feigning shock. "Why Charles Carson, I never!"

"Oh but you have, Elsie Hughes. Have you ever..." He teases with as much cheek as possible.


	7. Chapter 7

Elsie's small hand tucks into the crook of Charles' elbow as the new lovers make there way back to the house. His hand lay over hers, their fingers woven tightly together. His thick and strong, hers tiny and delicate, yet still full of strength. The things those fingers had done to him will stay in his mind forever. He was teasing, yet also completely honest when he said he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her. This new world had been opened and he wanted to live in it. From this moment on he was going to make sure they both lived their lives to the fullest, and for each other. She laid her head to rest against his arm and his heart swelled. He felt complete, as if he had finally found something real for himself. She had always been the most steady part of his life. The deep love for her had always been there in his heart. He had suppressed it time and time again over the years, but it was always ever present. This strong, steady, unrelenting love he could now embrace.

He squeezes her hand gently."I do believe we may have missed the dressing gong, Mrs. Hughes."

"Aye, Mr. Carson." She agrees. "And you're not panicking?" Her sarcastic brogue teases him.

"Not at all, my love," he says smiling down at her sweetly, then lifting his head to look at the big house off in the distance. " I have no doubt Mr. Barrow will have gladly taken the reigns by now." This comes with a hint of disgust.

Elsie watches his face trying to determine his feelings. She's perfected this task over the years and thinks she understands him quite well now indeed. "Charles, will you really be alright if we have to leave Downton?"

He's quiet for a moment, mulling her question over in his mind. They move under the stone threshold into Downton's gardens. The beautiful blooms of summer full and luscious, their scent drifting over them as they stroll. "What do you say we cross that bridge when, and if, we have to?"

"I suppose you're right. No use worrying ourselves until we know for sure if we are sacked or not." Elsie agrees with a nervous laugh. She is terribly worried indeed. She knows she will be fine if they must leave, but she is not so sure how he will fair. If they were to be pushed out, would Charles eventually end up regretting his decision to be with her? How deep does his love for her run, she wonders. Is she more dear to him than the Crawleys and Downton?

As they exit the gardens, still holding tightly onto one another, Charles leans over to kiss Elsie's lips. It is soft and gentle, a promise. They end their kiss and Elsie straightens and pulls her hand from Charles when she feels him stiffen. They are in view of the house now and she looks up to where his eyes are locked. Lady Mary is walking towards them pushing the pram, her sweet fatherless baby boy nestled inside. From the look on Lady Mary's face, Elsie knows right away that they have been caught. Two servants out walking the grounds, holding each other tightly, her head lying on his arm, kissing. "Carson. Mrs. Hughes. Where have you been? The whole house is looking for...?" She stops, looking them over, their wet hair and damp clothing."Goodness! Why are you wet? Are you both quite alright?"

Standing up straight, Charles spoke with his usual decorum and dignity. "I'm sorry for our delay, my Lady. May I ask why you are not in the house dressing for dinner?"

"It's obvious, I should think. I was looking for the two of you." Her lip curling up and eyes rolling towards the sky. "Really, you two should be more careful. You've managed to hide it for all these years, what's another ten or fifteen?"

Charles' mouth gaped open in shock. Elsie gasped. "I beg your pardon, my Lady. But Mr. Carson and I have hid nothing these years. That is to say, we have never crossed any lines. Well, that is until..."

Mary cuts her off. "Oh Mrs. Hughes, you mistake me, I'm not questioning the virtues of either of you. Who would I be to do that? I have my own skeletons, as you both know I'm sure." She pauses inhaling. "What I mean to say is that I have always known the friendly companionship you have with one another. But seeing you today, so close like this... I am happy for you both." She says stepping closer and taking Charles' hand in hers. "I can no longer have my love, but I see no reason why you shouldn't have yours."

A tear escapes Charles' eye and slides down his cheek. With her free hand Mary reaches for Mrs. Hughes. She places the couples hands together. "You have my full blessing if you wish?" She says smiling. "And don't worry about Papa, I will set him straight."

"Thank you my Lady, thank you." Elsie chokes, tears coming down her face as Charles pulls her into his arms.

Smiling at the pair, Mary looks into Carson's eyes with love. "Thank you, my darling girl." He lovingly says over Elsie's hair. "Thank you.."


	8. Chapter 8

Lady Mary turns and heads back towards the house, leaving the two in their embrace. They stay like this, holding onto one another. Elsie snug under his chin, smiling against his broad chest. Charles face pressed against her soft fragrant curls.

"Charles, is this really happening?" Elsie asks. "It all feels like a dream."

"It is a dream, my love. A dream come true." He whispers against her hair. "Now I think we should get back to the house. It sounds like we were missed."

They walk towards the servants entrance arm and arm. When Charles reaches for the door, Elsie pulls away. He looks at her questioningly. "Charles, I think we should wait a bit before telling the others. What do you say?"

"If that is your wish, my dear. However, I should tell you that my love for you will not be easy to hide." He professes smiling at her.

"Nor mine for you. Yet it seems we've been doing just that for quite a while now, so it shouldn't be too difficult to pretend we are not in love. Now let's get on with this, shall we." She says as she enters through the door with Charles following.

Mrs. Patmore comes racing around the corner, quickly ushering both of them into Elsie's sitting room. "Where the bloody 'ell have you two been? His lordship has been down looking for you both. I told him I thought you perhaps went into the village and maybe had trouble getting back. Why in the blazes are you wet?" She glances down at their hands held tightly together. She can't conceal her grin. "Well, it's about time you two, but could you not find a better time to run around playing young lovers?"

"I beg your pardon Mrs. Patmore!" Charles began to scold. Elsie squeezed his hand and he stopped when she gave him a smile.

The two women smile a knowing smile at each other and Elsie reaches out to her. They embrace. A deep friendship and caring between them formed over the years. Elsie's cancer scare. Beryl's short lived love affair. They have confessed their pasts and their desires for the future to each other. They were true friends. "I must say I'm quite happy indeed. No more playing go-between for the two of you." She chuckled. Never one to beat around the bush. "May I ask when we should expect the happy event? You can't go frolickin' around Downton together unmarried. Aye, Mr. Carson?" She winks at Elsie.

"Of course not, Mrs. Patmore." Charles says blushing. "We will be wed as soon as possible. That is, if it's alright with you Els.. Mrs. Hughes?"

"Oh Charles, buttoning up already, are you?" Elsie half teases her Scottish coming out. "It's perfectly fine for you to call me Elsie in front of Beryl. And yes, we may get married as soon as you wish. We have been given Lady Mary's blessing, but I suspect we will have to sit down with Lord and Lady Grantham still."

"Indeed." Charles nodded.

"Blessed by the queen herself! Well then, I see no problems for you at all. Since I'm quite certain she does a fine job ruling the roost." Mrs. Patmore adds before turning to leave. "I suggest you two fix yourselves up a bit before heading back out here, looks like you fell in a lake, it does."

"The audacity of that woman never fails to shock me." He exclaims, then smiling adds. "I'm glad she is happy for us."

"I think you will find most of them will be happy for us Charles. Certainly the Bates'. Anna makes innuendos about our relationship all the time, Mr. Bates too." Elsie confesses.

"Do they really?" Charles is shocked. "We have always been extremely proper!"

"Oh, really?" Elsie purrs seductively placing her hands on his chest. "How proper were we earlier Mr. Carson? Was it proper for you to kiss me here?" She says grabbing his hand and running his fingers down her neck. "0r here?" She adds, his fingers trailing over her breasts, circling her nipples slowly. She drags his hand down further, both breathing heavily, fires building within them. "Or here?" She whimpers as his palm grasps her center through her dress. His mouth is on hers now. Kissing her hard as his palm rubs circles into her body. She is pressing into his hand, sweet whimpers escaping as she pushes her face into his shoulder to muffle the sounds. "Take me Charles. Quickly. Now!"

He pushes her body up against the wall, pulling her skirts up and yanking her undergarments off. Pushing against her, he unbuttons his trousers while lifting her legs up and around his torso. He thrusts into her hard and she cries out. A deep groan comes from somewhere in his chest. "Shhh, my love. We must be quiet." He says pumping into her over and over, her back pressed so tightly up against the wall, her mouth sucking at his neck. He can't stop the deep moans when she comes, her wetness pulsing around him, egging him on, drawing him in. His release joins hers and he lowers her slowly, their bodies separating. She can feel his warm wetness dripping down her thighs and it excites her. This feeling of him on her body. She rubs her slick thighs together under her skirt, relishing in this idea of closeness.

His head rests on her shoulder, his breathing heavy. "You, Elsie Hughes, are going to be a problem."

"Me?" She questions, knowing there is truth in it. He has ignited a fire in her. She is wanton, desired, very sexual. This new feeling Charles evokes in her is exciting. She runs her fingers through his hair, pulling his face up to hers. "It seems I just can't get enough of you, Mr. Carson." She sighs, kissing his lips gently.

"You may have whatever you wish, whenever you wish, future Mrs. Carson." He says, grinning into her lips. "Always."


	9. Chapter 9

It was an eventful week for Charles and Elsie. They had their meeting with Lord and Lady Grantham the day after the run in with Lady Mary. Mary had of course made them aware of her finding, and also let them know, in no uncertain terms that Carson would be marrying Mrs. Hughes. That this was her wish, and would bring some joy back into her sad and lonely existence. The parents were more than happy to oblige their beloved daughter. They were also pleased for their butler and housekeeper whom, in breaking with propriety, they cared for deeply. Elsie and Charles were happy to receive congratulations and best wishes from their employers. Cora claimed she always knew there was love between them. Robert completely, but pleasantly, flabbergasted by it all. Cora informed them that as a gift, the great hall would be cleared out and there would be a luncheon and dancing after the wedding. They both protested this offer, but Cora would not accept any refusal. Elsie noticed a great weight was lifted off Charles' shoulders after this meeting. Her stuffy butler was happy, almost jovial.

The banns for them were read that Sunday in church. They were a bit amused to hear the gasps and whispers coming from the congregation around them. Immediately following the mass, they were met with smiles and congratulations. From "Best wishes." "Our sincerest blessings." "God bless the happy couple." To "I knew this would happen one day." "Oh we've been waiting to hear that." " I always knew you two..." Charles and Elsie just smiled and thanked each one. They walked quietly back to the house arm and arm, stealing happy glances as they went. Elsie saw a look on Charles' face she had never seen before. His head was held high, looking forward with a huge grin on his face. "You look quite happy today, Mr. Carson." Elsie said smiling, staring up at him. They still called each other Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Elsie and Charles only came out when they were alone together. This secret, intimate new language between the two. Something sacred and beautiful to the both of them.

Charles stopped and turned to look at her, bringing his arm up and gently running the back of his hand down her cheek. "I've never been so happy in my whole life." He said the words so sweetly, the sincerity of them piercing her heart. She smiled up at him, her eyes telling him all he needed to hear. They continued their way back to the house in blissful silence.

When they arrived back they parted ways, both had work that needed to be done. They had not let this new way between them affect their dedication to their work. They would continue to uphold the standards of the house. Their stubbornness and sense of pride would never waiver when it came to their work. Elsie still wondered about Charles, as she sat at her desk working over the store cupboard orders and the linen rota. She wondered if he would still be happy with her and her alone, if things had worked out differently. Perhaps she'd never know. But that would not stop her from enjoying what she had now. This wonderful man she had loved for so many years, now loved her back in the most beautiful way possible. He never failed to show her and tell her everyday. Now that they were able to, they both were like this. It was so against both of their characters to be so open with each other, but the emotions and love were there, and it poured out of them.

...

The wedding came the following month. It was a beautiful late summer's day. Charles looked dashing in his new gray suit. Elsie was a vision in a beautiful cream lace gown. Mary, who had taken quite the interest in Mrs. Hughes as of late, insisted on getting the dress. Elsie submitted to Mary when she said helping with the wedding of her beloved Carson was the only thing that kept her going at the moment. That it kept her mind busy and away from thoughts of her loss. She wanted Mrs. Hughes to be a vision of beauty when she walked down the isle to meet her husband. It had been almost a year since they lost the young master, but Elsie knew in her heart she would never be able to get over Charles either, if the situation was reversed. So she let the young woman, who as a girl she once considered unfeeling and snobbish, dote on her for the sake of her butler. The wedding went, as weddings do. There were tears and smiles, hugs and laughter. Their reception was indeed a beautiful affair, with the Granthams hosting a lovely event for all the servants and themselves. Help was brought in so that even Mrs. Patmore, Daisy, and Ivy could enjoy themselves. It was a lovely, blessed, and heartwarming. They were surrounded by family and love.

After the party, Mary had asked Mr. And Mrs. Carson to meet her in the library. When they arrived, she had given them two keys. She said the keys were to the guest room at the end of the hall by the servants quarters. The locks had been changed recently so those were the only two that could open the room. She said it was now theirs. She wanted them to have their own little piece of the house. Somewhere they could call their own and find some peace together. It was to be their home for as long as they wished to stay at Downton. Which she hoped would be always since baby George had become quite enamored by them both. Charles and Elsie had been moved to tears, overwhelmed by her kindness and generosity. She told them times were changing and she wanted them to be happy and enjoy this new part of their lives.

They knew the room she spoke of, it had always been known as the Gold room. It was set way back from the family and close to the servants quarters. One door and one flight of stairs, to be exact. It had been rarely used by guests, as was any room in this wing, but it was very nice and spacious. After they left Mary, Charles and Elsie made their way to their new home. They held hands nervously as they walked through the halls. Neither saying anything, but glancing at each other, a blush creeping over their faces. Neither knew why they were anxious, they had been together many times since their first encounter at the lake. In fact they could hardly keep their hands off each other. Every chance they were given to be alone, they readily jumped at it. Devouring each other like they had been starved for years.

"Look at us Charles. I'm as nervous as a young lass on her wedding day." Elsie finally spoke shattering the silence.

"Well that's good lass, since it is your wedding day." Charles deep laugh eased their tensions. "And I'm a bit out of sorts myself dear. I just want everything to be perfect for you tonight. You only get one wedding night."

"As long as I'm with you Charles, it will be perfect." Elsie confessed, meaning every word she said.

They reached the door and Charles got out the key, opening the lock. "Shall we my love?" He said bending slightly and scooping Elsie's small frame up into his arms. He would uphold this tradition, of carrying his lovely new wife into their home. He wanted her to feel everything a bride could on this day. He wished he could have given this to her years ago. When they were both young, with their whole lives ahead of them. He could have given her so much more: a family, a real home, love for a lifetime.. He had to stop himself from going down this road. The past must be the past, he would stop revisiting those painful thoughts. He would focus on the beauty before him and the love so strong in him it burned through his whole body like a raging fire.

"Charles!" Elsie gasped bringing him back into the moment. She started to giggle as she placed her arms around his neck. He carried her like this to bed. He lay her down gently, his eyes never leaving hers. Charles then got down next to her on the bed, both rolling to their side to face one another. "This is all real Charles. I never thought we could have this." Tears roll down her face as they gaze into each others eyes, their arms wrapped around the other.

"We do now, my love. We have each other now. You have always had me." He says bringing his lips to hers. They make love as they never have before. Slow, gentle, passionate. Hands, fingers, mouths, tongues, a blur of sensations and emotions. Their love passed between them like it was a tangible thing. Something they could grasp and hold onto. Keep with them for all of eternity. Binding them together so that even after one had left this world, it would keep them together until they could meet again. They finally collapsed into each other, pulses of love lapped at them like waves on the beach. A gentle sleep soon found them. Their eyes filled with tears, their hearts full of love, their souls joined for eternity.


	10. Chapter 10

Things at Downton had not changed much since the marriage of Carson and Mrs. Hughes. The couple still had long heated discussions about the running of the house. Still shared gossip about coworkers and people from the village. They lived their days like clockwork, as they always had for so many years. Elsie would prepare his tea at breakfast, Charles would serve her first. They would reprimand the staff together as was customary for them. She would go to his pantry for wine in the evenings, or he to her sitting room for tea and biscuits. She would fuss over him. Try to keep his workload down. He would scold her. Tell her she was too soft with her girls. Yet in actuality, he had already slowed down so much for her, and she had softened his heart when it came to his boys. The great house was still running as smoothly as it always had. Carson and Mrs. Carson were essentially the same butler and housekeeper they had always been.

There were changes though. A freedom in their hearts. Now they were able to enjoy all the things they only dreamt of before. Charles would take her hand under the dining table, Elsie would slide hers along his thigh. They slowly and intentionally brushed up along each other in the halls, gazing onto one another's eyes. Acting like a young maid and footman, they would sneak hidden kisses and hungry gropes all over the house. They would laugh and snuggle closely together when they walked to the village. The pair always had afternoon tea in their room. They told the staff they were getting older now and needed a bit of time to rest and unwind during the day. Their idea of unwinding usually ended with them both lying naked and panting. Late at night they would come back to their room, their little home. They would bathe together, make passionate love, then hold each other all night long. They clung desperately to each other some nights, knowing the time they had left together was never going to be enough. Both never seeming to get their fill of the other. This, part of their determined attempts to make up for the years lost. They never spoke of their regrets, just kept moving forward. Nourishing this blissful new state they found themselves in. Love had found them, and they had found love.

...and they lived happily ever after :) The End

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for reading Wasting Chances. My very first fanfic! I really enjoyed writing it. Being totally crazy in love with Carson and Mrs. Hughes helped. Haha :). Also a big thanks for the reviews and PM's. You all are so sweet and kind. And last, but not least, thank you to all the Chelsie authors out there. You are amazing and inspiring. Love to you all, and here's to hoping Series 4 is "the year" for these two reticent lovebirds.

Disclaimer. The characters in my stories are not mine. I only wish they were...


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